My way or the back door

By Bruce Wade

I am a keen observer of human nature, often sitting on the fringes of a gathering watching everyone do their thing trying to find their place in the social hierarchy ladder of so-called success.

Three types of people can be found in any group:

The Dominant: These are the people who believe that their role in life is to lead and guide other ‘lost souls’ to their way of thinking. This is not done through any form of nurture or care but through an overpowering force of ‘this is the way it works’ attitude. It is put across with power and force. Those who do not comply, get publicly shunned and shamed through peer pressure until they comply.

The Compliant: These are the loyal followers. The ones, who despite their values and beliefs will change the way they act, speak, and behave just to fit in and not rock the boat of their relationship with the Dominant. The loss of personal values to fit in changes this person like the wind in a storm. They are flip-flopping to whatever the situation demands of them just to save face.

The Rebel: This is the person, as few as they may be, who has strong personal beliefs and will not be easily moved into compliance that violates their values. These people do not sit in the smoking room, play golf or attend drinks on Friday just to be one of the group. They are the ones who refuse the next drink, leave early to go home to family and do not share in the gossip and slanderous jokes. They refuse to be bullied by either group and stand firm in their belief. Yes, they will be looked over for promotion and inclusion and yes they may not be in the running for the big opportunity when it comes, but it delivers something better than money and pride – it delivers personal satisfaction that when your head hits the pillow at night that you have remained true to who you are and what you stand for.

So here is a high-five for those who stand firm and straight and who resist the pressures of compromise and compliance. I salute you.

To the dominant and compliant people. – I doubt that you even got to read this far, but if you did, shame on you for being and acting like you do. May this be a trigger to readjust and change and become more aware of others around you who have a life worth living in the way they choose.